Wednesday 30 March 2005

Impromtu nights out are always the best

I feel rough, help me Jebus!

I was about to go home last night and venture out on a run but just as I was leaving I was asked if I wanted a quick beer. It had been a tough day and the fact that I have no will power with that kind of thing I said yes…

…7 quick beers later I staggered back to Battersea in the pouring rain. Soaked.

I’ve got another tough day today so expect another hungover story tomorrow morning.

Homerisms(55) = "I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are."

Tuesday 29 March 2005

Plans for Saturday

What's going on this Saturday then?

Anything I have to bring?


Who's coming?

What sort of time? I should have sorted everything out with rugby by 6ish.

Homerisms(54) = "If something is to hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle and we'll go inside and watch TV."

Thursday 24 March 2005

A blessing in disguise

I took a knock to by jaw playing rugby last night. I thought i'd broken it again. after a 4 hour wait at St thomas's Hospital Westminster they gave me the all clear to go.

I still can't shut my mouth.

I've done everything that I had to do at work so my boss had told me that I can head home at lunchtime!


Homerisms(53) = "I think the saddest day of my life was when I realized I could beat my Dad at most things, and Bart experienced that at the age of four."

Tuesday 22 March 2005

Bomb alert...


We've just had a message over the tannoy to tell us that we have been advised by the police to stay within the building.

A suspect vehicle has been found near work.

I thought something was odd when they were cordoning off one of the streets on my way to work.

Homerisms(52) = "I saw this movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called, The bus that couldn't slow down."

Monday 21 March 2005


I bought CM5 on Saturday. Oh dear. Lots of problems.

But I guess FM05 had lots of problems too.

I've just managed to download the patch so hopefully that will solve most of them.

We shall see.

Homerisms(51) = "I know you can read my thoughts boy: Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow"

ipod or not ipod? That is the question...

Shakespeare of the 21st century.

I want to waste some money on a mp3 player.

Which one shall I buy?

Creative labs Zen

Tough choice but someone has to do it.

Homerisms(50) = "I hope I didn't brain my damage."

Wednesday 16 March 2005

Get the mother fcuk in!!!!!!!!!!!

Just got it!


Plus a pay review in June!!! That was out of the blue!!!!

Homerisms(49) = "I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!"

The pay review / bonus slips have turned up...

But the gits haven't told us yet!

Hurry up. This is like waiting for exam results, or waiting for Santa.

Homerisms(48) = "I am so smart, I am so smart, s-m-r-t ... I mean s-m-A-r-t."

Monday 14 March 2005

I have a smile that is actually wider then my entire face

It is unconfirmed at the moment but I think I know what my pay rise will be next month. Don't know about my bonus yet. All confrimed tomorrow or early this week.

We have a flexible benefit system at work where you can pick and choose things like holidays, private health, pension etc, and I think it's been updated early.

Needless to say, if it is correct I will buy my entire readership one beer. Print out this page as a voucher. One voucher per person. Judge's (Me) verdict final. No cash substitutes.

Current readership: 3 (+2)

Homerisms(47) = "What is a wedding? Webster's Dictionary defines a wedding as 'The process of removing weeds from one's garden."

Friday 11 March 2005

I want one

Homerisms(46) = "Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!"


I went out to see the band Thunder last night with a mate from work.

Very good!

70s bluesy rock!

On another note, I looked into getting tickets for Ben Folds and was shocked to see them priced at £30 excluding booking/handling fees!

Fcuk off!

What a rip off.

Homerisms(45) = "Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?"

Thursday 10 March 2005

I went out with Ross last night

I'm feeling tired now.

I only had about 6 pints but i'm shattered.

I doubt i'll be very productive today.

I'm organising a team night out so may do some work on that.

I will design a pool competition.

Homerisms(44) = "Do I know what rhetorical means?"

Wednesday 9 March 2005

My brother's just bought a £1800 Uber Ninja PC

3.8Ghz, 19inch flat panel


At least I have better speakers.

Homerisms(43) = "Beer. Now there's a temporary solution."

Tuesday 8 March 2005


Seeing how successful last year's holiday was, does anyone fancy doing a similar thing this year?

By similar thing, I mean not really a similar thing, as for one reason or another we did bugger all.

I'd like to point out that none of those reasons were because of me.

Homerisms(42) = "Bart , you're saying butt-kisser like it's a bad thing!"

Monday 7 March 2005

What a sad, sad world we live in

Big Brother wins the vote

More young Brits have voted in reality TV shows than are likely to vote at the next general election, according to a survey.

The YouGov survey for the Daily Telegraph found fewer than 42% of first-time voters think they will vote in the election.

Yet 46% said they had already voted for contestants in shows such as Big Brother and Pop Idol.

The 18- to 22-year-olds, who make up nearly a 10th of the electorate, seemed to have little interest in party politics.

More than half claim not to know what a "constituency" is and nearly half said they had no idea who would make the best prime minister.

Homerisms(41) = "Lord, I know I shouldn't eat Thee, but ... (munch munch munch) mmm ... sacrelicious."

Friday 4 March 2005

Tim has finally made it.

Last weekend I drove past The Amersham Arms, New Cross. For those not in the know, this is one of the London venues of the Legion of Doom's latest tour.

Guess who's playing there next month...

Chaz and Dave

Yes you heard right.

The mighty

Chaz and Dave

Homerisms(40) = "Aw , Dad, you 've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless."

Thursday 3 March 2005

Friday plans

Don't think i'll be able to get Friday off from work after all.

I have another special meeting to attend that has been postponed to tomorrow.

Homerisms(39) = "And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"

Pile of Wank!

On the day of the patch update from FM2005, our work websense decides to block the site!

Homerisms(38) = "If he's so smart, how come he's dead?"

Wednesday 2 March 2005

Knight Commander of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire

Bill Gates gets an honery knighthood.

Sounds like something Bill and Ted would confer.

Homerisms(37) = "If there's one thing I've learned, it's that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead."

Tuesday 1 March 2005


Homerisms(36) = "All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer."