Friday 30 December 2011

Pain in the neck

I've had a sore neck for a little over a week now (yes, I should probably see someone about it) but when it gets a little too sore i've been taking ibuprofen. Great, it usually sorts me out for a few hours then it's not so bad afterwards. Anyway, this week I bought some more, this time ones that dissolve on your tongue, not water required.

What are they like? Pretty much these same (they have the same quantity of drug), but you get the added benefit of having a slightly numb tongue.

Not a great film

April was out rehearsing for her band last night so I had the TV to myself. I’ve watched all 3 extended editions of Lord of the Rings earlier in the month and before Christmas I’d managed to watch episodes IV to VI of Star Wars on Blu-ray. Last week I watched the Phantom Menace and it was, how should I say it? Crap. Yes, that just about summarises it.

Yesterday I put on what I thought to be Attack of the Clones. I think it must have taken me all of 20 minutes to realise that I’d put on the final film Revenge of the Sith by mistake. I don’t think I missed much.

People who work for insurance companies are idiots... oh...

Just had the renewal quote for my car insurance and it looked a little high so just used a comparison website to see if I can get cheaper. It turns out I can with another company that is part of the same group. Maybe they want to have different risk profiles on their books so charge differently according to different circumstances but i'm pretty sure this happened last time. Idiots. All they're doing is wasting my time.


Thursday 29 December 2011

I take that back

I can get to Cannon Street in the morning, but the train is 5 minutes earlier than my normal one.  I don't think i'll be catching that.

Wednesday 28 December 2011

Bloody trains

My trains are on a holiday timetable, this means that they are less frequent and they stop more often than usual.  It's not really a problem as the trains aren't that busy and i'm not in a major hurry to get into work as it's pretty quiet and I have little to do.  The main annoyance is it doesn't stop at Cannon Street.  That's an extra 5 mins walk each way.  Resulting in an additional half another over the course of the week.  Bloody trains!

New set of headphones

One of the ear pieces in my headphones stopped working this morning.  So looks like i'll be needing a new set.  The easiest option would be to just order a new pair from amazon but i've them enough money over Christmas.

Sunday 25 December 2011

Reindeer stuffing

The first sitting of our apple fed cockerel and my reindeer shaped stuffing.

Friday 23 December 2011

Finished till next Wednesday

Finally. The last few weeks have been really busy at work but am now on my way back home. Only a  couple of hours later that expected...

Good morning so far

Just found a 20 pound note on the way into work. Yeah! I also found a penny!

Thursday 22 December 2011

Always the optimist...

When we started looking for a new house we set up an email address houseclark2011. So that all of our house related e-mails would be in one place and to ensure we could switch it off once we'd found our new home as you do tend to get a lot of spam.  In hindsight it should have been houseclarksometimeinthe21stcentury.

We also have a wedding account weddingclark.  We weren't pessimistic enough to put a year after that though

And no, it isnot for me

Saw this in the toilets of the theatre on Tuesday night and it made me laugh.  And before anyone asks.  No it is not for me.

Wednesday 21 December 2011

Rob Deering review

We went to see Rob Deering at the Trinity Theatre in Tunbridge Wells last night.  It was a Christmas based comedy and food night.  2 course meal followed by two comedians Mr Deering and Kerry Godliman.  The food was good although a little overpriced for what was essentially middle to good home cooked food but the comedy was great. 

We arrived at our reserved table which to our horror was right at the front.  Did we get picked on?  Yes.  The compare asked April and I (mostly me) loads of questions.  Nothing too embarrassing...

Mrs Godliman was funny although a little centred on her life and how horrible it is having two young children.  Funny all the same though.  The headline Rob Deering was very good, I recognised his face from somewhere (Quite a bit like Kryton from Red Dwarf) but hadn't seen his act.  He basically pokes fun out of music (this time Chirstmasy themed) whilst playing on his guitar and using his effects peddles.  I'm not really doing him any justice here but if you get a chance go and see him, you wil not be disappointed. 

Verdict:  Very good indeed

Tuesday 20 December 2011

Not much of a surprise

Just completed the Guardian questionnaire on social unrest / riots and public sector workers.

Results = Gordon Gecko

Ha, ha.

Monday 19 December 2011

Legless reindeers

April kindly baked some gingerbread reindeers yesterday for me to take into work.  They almost made it into London before the tin lid came of and 4 or 5 made their escape.  A few lost their smartie nose and there are many broken legs but they still taste the same.  Yummy.  Not many left.

Saturday 17 December 2011

Not convinced

Just tried a wood pigeon for lunch. Hmm... not convinced.

Friday 16 December 2011

Only 3rd!

I demand a recount!

Empire magazine's The Best 24 Christmas Movie Characters placed Clark W. Griswald at number 3!!!  How dare they?  Cousin Eddie Johnson perhaps at 3.

22 year old.  Jeez

Thursday 15 December 2011

Finally caught up

Finally caught up on all my podcasts since getting back from my honeymoon. I must have had a days worth, plus if I didn't keep on top of it even more would pile up.

Bloody new shoes

My new pair of shoes are trying their damned hardest to cripple me.  They've not only given me a lovely blister one of my big toe but due to me walking differently so as not to aggravate it too much the bridge of my foot is now also sore.  Argh!  Bring on the weekend when I can relax

Wednesday 14 December 2011

425 pts left to go

Only 425 points left to get till You Gov owes me £50!  Ha, ha, ha!  It's only taken me the best part of 10 years!

Northerners need translating

I've just had a conversation with someone in a different team at work over the phone.  She was asking for a specific capital modelling paper that our team had produced a few months back so that she could pass it on to head office over in Tokyo.  I'd never heard of it so I suggested she ask the director of our department who was bound to know.  In reply she said.

"Ah but he's in Egypt".

I thought she said EEEJIT (ah but he's an idiot), so I replied,

"...yeah, but he is our Chief Risk Officer..."

It was only after looking at his calendar that I saw that he is in fact on holiday.

Ha, ha.  I don't think she noticed.  Very funny though.  Bloody northerners!

Tuesday 13 December 2011

Who's been stealing my weather analytics?

The bloody BBC that's who.  Even the same colours!

Monday 12 December 2011

The moon at night

Waiting for the train to London at Tonbridge station.

It says a lot about the type of person who watches darts

Spotted this on the local evening telegraph website.

The darts championship is sponsored by cash converters.

Saturday 10 December 2011

Men are the same as women in many ways...

'They' say... that women 'sync' when they spend a lot of time together. So too do men. But only after going to the pub.

Friday 9 December 2011

Judge Judge

The Lord Chief Justice of England and Wales, is called Lord Judge.  Or Igor to his friends.

Lord of the Rings watched

Star Wars first trilogy rewatched, now over the last couple of weeks i've rewatched the Lord of the Rings (Extended Editions) trilogy.  What next?  The second Star Wars trilogy?  Mmm, not yet.  I'm hoping i'll find something else before resorting to that.

Thursday 8 December 2011

Hmm... free cake

I was having a chat to a colleague about his recent 1-1 with our boss in our breakout area when the company chef / cook came in with a cake and offered us some.

Free cheese cake.  Lovely!

How long before I lose my wedding ring?

I keep playing with it, and know before long i'll end up losing it.  I'll have to ween myself off.  For the rest of the day I won't touch it (with my other hand). 

No sale

Not much news on the house front.  No offers on our place despite a second viewing (couple, she prefers our house, he prefers another).  We have a new viewing on Saturday however.  The house we put an offer in on accepted a different offer.  Higher than asking price without a chain.  So back to the drawing board again.

11 work days left

11 working days till Christmas for me.  Can't wait for the 4 days off.  It should be generally quiet leading up to it too with many of the team taking the last of their holidays.  In fact, the 3 days in between Christmas and New Year, I think i'm the only one in! 

Very good show indeed

Having been away for a number of weeks i'd amassed a five episodes of The Walking Dead so over the weekend and yesterday I watched them all.  Brilliant.  It really is a great show.  It has the right balance of character interaction, action and frights to keep me entertained.  And I can't wait for the next episode. 

Anything else good on TV that I can record?

Wednesday 7 December 2011

It's not that cold

There was a guy in the gym changing rooms today that put a pair of long johns on under his work trousers...

It's not that cold!  The guy was in his 20's too.  Must still be living at home with his mother.  Jeez!

Tuesday 6 December 2011

Productive morning

Just dropped my current account down to a basic account and reduced my monthly mobile contract in half (not upgrading yet), so am saving >£35 / month.  Excellent!

Monday 5 December 2011

Happy christmas to one and all from Dyson

April was complaining that Dyson were taking ages in delivering a spare part for our 'hoover' which has stopped working.  I suggested that they were probably inundated with orders due to the Christmas rush.

"Happy Christmas my love, here's that replacement hoover part you've always wanted..."

It's now arrived, so April is very happy.  Or at least our cleaner will be.

Sunday 4 December 2011

Another outing

Another Christmas, another outing for the Metallica bauble.

Why building projects overrun

Having a quick drink after work on Friday, spotted these guys. 5 supervisors in high vis and hard hats per 1 worker smoothing out some concrete.

Friday 2 December 2011

Last night

April at the Duke of Uke Shoreditch, plus a shop sign round the super cool area.

Thursday 1 December 2011

5 year anniversary

It's our five year anniversary tonight.  The time has flown by.

What are we doing?  Ukulele shopping then Strada.

Mmm... Rigatoni Speck!  Our favourite.

Rip off Britain

Just had lunch with my brother at the lovely Bodean's.  Ribs, jerk chicken and chips!

As it arrived pretty quick we had a couple of beers in a local bar afterwards.  I paid for the meal so Steve paid for the beers.  Thank god.

"Two pints of Staropramen please"
"Certainly sir, that'll be £10.60"
"..." Hands over some money.

We couldn't be bothered finding another pub so we ordered two pints of Becks Vier, surely that can't be expensive.

"Certainly sir, £10 please"

"..." Hands over some money.

They're now on my boycott spreadsheet.  6 month ban until they drop their ridiculous prices.

Wednesday 30 November 2011

House viewing again

We're going to see another house tonight.  It's on the same street as one we really liked a few months back and looks very similar. We haven't been to see any houses for a while as there wasn't much point.  We weren't getting an awful lot of interest on our place at the time and we had the wedding to think about too so we put that side of things on the back burner.

We've got a second viewing on our house this Saturday which is exciting.  We were supposed to have one a few months back as they'd changed their mind about moving to Tonbridge.  They found somewhere in Croyden of all places instead.  This new couple sounds promising though.  And to think we were thinking about pulling the house from the market until next year.  Fingers crossed the weather's nice on Saturday to show it off in it's best light (just checked and it's due to rain).  Bugger...

£90+ for my phone

I'm due an new phone as i've had this contract for 18 months now (although i've actually had two phones during that period).  I can get up to £90 for my phone too.  Not bad really.  Not sure what to get though although am very happy with my HTC.  I may drop the contract down a bit for a while and keep it till something really impressive comes out. 

I'll never get a stupid apple.

Tuesday 29 November 2011


I watched The Fellowship of the Ring again last night.  As mentioned in an earlier post my Blu ray player didn't recognise the disks until I managed to update its software.  Luckily April was out as I don't think updating April's software will make her let me watch it when she wants to watch something else.

Websense blocked again

Just tried to go to Doug Stanhope's webpage at work and I was blocked by websense.

Reason:  Sex

Hmm?  There are a lot more offensive things that he talks about in his gigs than sex.

Monday 28 November 2011

Doh, no wallet = lottery lunch

Just got to the station and realised I've left my wallet at home. Doh! I've got £1 so can get a sandwich at work but it's still disconcerting. Who knows what delight I have in store for lunch?

Sunday 27 November 2011

Sore feet and shins

Having only been wearing sandals whilst on holiday my feet and muscles in my shins are really sore.  I think i've been using different muscles (gripping the sandals).  I'm also breaking in a new pair of work shoes which has given me a lovely blister on my big toe and heel.

Friday 25 November 2011

Drinks served in test tubes

We went here for a drink.  The Croft Institute.  You could get your drinks in test tubes and syringes.  Not very practical but cool though.

Umbrella sword

Saw this umbrella / samurai sword in a gadget shop


Saw this guy in a bar in Melbourne so asked him what his ring was.  As suspected.  Superbowl!  How odd to find him there.  No idea who he was though.  Too scared to ask any more questions.

By the sea

Metung, 3 hours drive south of Melbourne

Kris entertainment

Airplane enterainment sponsored by Kris

Some entertainment

Swim up bar

 The view from the pool with it's very own swim up bar.  Mmm... swim up bar.

Melati Beach Resort

 Our first breakfast at the lovely 5 star Melati hotel and our first cocktails.

I'm back

 Well, i'm back.  Well what's happened since i've been away.  Not much.  Although I did get married, then went on honeymoon to Koh Samui (Thailand) and then on to Melbourne for the best part of 3 weeks.  Here's a couple of photos from the airport lounge at Changi (Singapore).  More holiday snaps to follow.

Thursday 3 November 2011

What's wrong with raspberry flavour?

Someone (I would assume the cleaner) has put some air freshener in our gents toilets at work. Surely raspberry would be more appropriate…

Nearly finished

10 mins and counting.

Monday 31 October 2011

How can the colour brown be a trademark?

Just recieved this email from UPS telling me that my parcel has arived.  How can the colour brown be a trademark?

Sunday 30 October 2011

Taste testing Stuart style

Found a new type of Sierra Nevada in Waitrose. Yum.

Saturday 29 October 2011

Mmm... brains

Skull candle with real brains


We went to all this trouble and nobody came round. We'll have to get made up again on Monday.

Moveable feast

Biscuit's treat, getting to lick the discarded ham packet.

Friday 28 October 2011

'Perfect' night in

A bit of a ball ache getting it to work, but all good in the end.

Put blu-ray in player -> nothing -> looked for possible problem online -> need to update service pack -> download -> where the hell are the usbs? -> found an old one -> put in back of player -> didn't recognise it -> plugged in network cable ->  downloaded update -> it works!

As an added bonus for April, I now think my old Lord of the Rings dvds will now work too!

Thursday 27 October 2011

Tonight's activities

April's getting taken out to a champagne bar with work colleagues tonight so i'm home alone.  What shall I do?  Easy decision.

...Blu-ray Star Wars whilst... 
...playing Football Manager and drinking...
...a couple of bottles of beer and...
...stroking a couple of cats.

Hell yeah!  Not just Rock, but Roll as well.

Wow, what a difference 15 mins makes

I'm on a later train into work this morning and there's a woman sitting at the table opposite me that looks the spitting image of Tubs (left) from The League of Gentlemen.

How unfortunate...

6 work days left!

Can't bloody wait.

Tuesday 25 October 2011


Another scar to add to my collection, I wad scratched a few weeks ago playing rugby by some guy's fingernail, it's finally healed up but looks like it's left a scar. Doh. My poor beautiful face...

I may have to get 'touched up' a bit (with makeup) for my wedding photos.

Or maybe April can paint my face up like Spiderman again

11 days to go

This time in 11 days and i'll be bricking it waiting for April to walk down the aisle.  Yikes!


My old flat in Putney is on the market
Tempted, to put a cheeky offer in but I don't really want to live in Putney as the commute was a bit of a pain, as you had to change trains halfway through your commute.  Nice flat though, bbqs would have been awesome.

Saturday 22 October 2011

Any old iron?

We heard a shout outside our house this morning so we looked out the window, it was a rag and bone man driving passed asking for scrap!

Friday 21 October 2011

Maybe i'm not hooked afterall...

I've been so busy recently that I totally forgot that the new version of Football Manager came out today.  Doh!  I was going to set it to download early this morning so that it's ready for me when I get in tonight.  Oh well.  That's two hours i'll never get back.

Blog blood

Blogging from the bed in the blood donation hall.

Do you want skin with that?

I grated my finger whilst grating cheese for April. Ouch!

Wednesday 19 October 2011

Spot the odd one out

Just had an e-mail from a recruitment consultant for a new job, his e-mail signature made me laugh.

London - Hong Kong - Sydney - Frankfurt - Basingstoke - Zurich

I mean who would want to work in Zurich...

Tuesday 18 October 2011

Free booze

One benefit of James leaving early on my stag, he accidentally kept £20 of the kitty on him. No problem I said, let's spend it now.

Monday 17 October 2011

Good night

Thanks guys for a really good night. It means a lot to me that so many friends came. Highlights for me were obviously the meal at Hawksmoor and the delightful cocktail you made me drink.

Zombie (Maximum 1 person)
Three Rums, Falernum, Absinthe, Homemade Grenadine, Grapefruit and Lime Juices, with a Navy Rum Float
Done the Beachcomber took infinite plans to safeguard his recipes.  His bartenders were given them in code, along with bottles containing complicated pre-mixes, market only with letters and numbers.  The Zombie, his most famous invention, was the most closely guarded of them all.  It's Tiki-land in a glass, but be warned, ours is as strong as Don's, so we recommend you find a friend to share it with. 

Beers and shots in the Crobar where my ankle gave way causing me to fall over, didn’t spill a drop mind, but I do have a bruised ankle and a sore arm. Also, in the Crobar, John’s face after his ‘special’ shot with the additional 10 shakes of Tabasco source.

Another rock pub to add to my list of favourites was also great below Garlic and Shots where we managed to fit all 12 of us into the tiny cave area with candles. It was almost romantic.

My memory certainly starts to get a bit hazy after this, but I’ve heard on good authority that April’s old band were good…

It all got a bit much for some,

I made the 10:20 home to Tonbridge so think I was in bed by not long after 11.



I wonder if April's spotted this yet, I drew it in the condensation last week after a shower and it's stayed ever since (after a shower).  Ha, ha.

Saturday 15 October 2011


Time to get on it?

Wednesday 12 October 2011

Well I never

Brian Blessed is only 5 foot 9 inches

I'm quite disappointed.  He's good on the latest Fry's Planet Word though.

Tuesday 11 October 2011

You had me at H

London 2012: 'Have a beer' to avoid Olympic delays at Games

Transport chiefs have recommended an old-fashioned way for commuters to avoid Olympian queues during London 2012 - have a beer before heading home.

What's old fashioned about that?  It certainly takes the edge off...

Safest place for her

She attacks me if I stroke her through the bars.

Much bigger than ours

Steve's cat Ginger on Sunday.

Sunday 9 October 2011

In bed with my Biscuit

Biscuit snuck into my bed when I nipped out to make some tea.

Initial signs are good

Finally a more realistic Liverpool team in the demo of the new football manager. 7-1!

The re-match 2

April beat me then a draw.