Wednesday 29 February 2012

Am I sad?

Am I sad for being annoyed that you can't create OLAP cubes in excel 2010?

Probably.  But luckily there's a work around or sorts.  We can still remotely access our old computers and they've forgotten to upgrade them.  Ha, ha!

And... why not

Here's a link to one of my favourite sites.

Taxidermined Badger Theremin

Monday 27 February 2012

Getting rid of our cleaner

We've decided to get rid of our cleaner after about 3 years.  It's not as easy as it sounds, she lives at the bottom of our street and I see her most mornings when she's walking her dog.

We're partially doing it as we're both trying to save up, but we're mostly doing it as she's just rubbish.  She's there for 2 hours a week which is plenty to keep on top of things but she struggles sometimes to even do that.  That's what I'll keep in mind when I call her up this afternoon.

Sunday 26 February 2012

Mmm... sweaty cat

Biscuit lazily warming herself up on the radiator cover.

Friday 24 February 2012

12th best company

There was fancy bottle of champagne on my desk when I arrived at work this morning.  Laurent-Perrier Brut in a box.  I thought I was special until I spotted one on everyones desk.

It turns out that my company came 12th in the annual Sunday Times best company to work for award.  We've got a champagne reception at 4 to help celebrate.

Wednesday 22 February 2012

Indoor frost

Frost in the inside if our car a few weeks back. Brrr...

Never thought that would happen

Biscuit and Poppet setting next to each other minding their own business. Biscuit's actually sitting on Poppet they're usually at each other's throats.

My money mountain


Monday 20 February 2012


I'm looking for what to watch on TV tonight as April's staying overnght in Derby I spotted a couple of films on Film4.  Buffy the Vampire Killer followed by Twilight.  Ha, ha.

Just checked as I hoped it was followed by Blade.  It's not.  It's better, From Dusk Till Dawn.  Ha, ha, ha.


...synthetic meat...

Actuarial space

As i've mentioned before I get one or two vultures, sorry recruitment consultants calling me up each week trying to get em to jump ship and move company.  99.9% of them are just fishing.  They're searched for some key words in linkedin and my name has come up, they've spotted where I work and have contacted reception asking to speak to me. 

Flattering at first, i'm now extremely tired of it so I ask the receptionist to put them through to my voicemail, most leave a message (i'm not sure why some don't even bother, with all fishing, 50% of the goal is to see if you have anything on the end of the line). 

The latest term that they all seem to be using is

"We've got a lot of opportunities in the actuarial space that you might be interested in."

Really?  What a dick!  It's up there with half of the crap consultants come up with.  Next one that calls i'll answer the phone and play bullshit bingo with him.

Halfway through the call i'll shout BINGO and hangup.

50%+ achievements

Last night I broke the 50% achievement barrier in football manager!  I'm currently in my 8th season with West Ham.  I'd like to stay on for another couple of seasons as my board are building a new Stadium with a retractable roof.  Maybe they're name it after me.

The Clark Arena or The Stadium of Clark have a certain ring to them.

Friday 17 February 2012

Is this for fuel or the clothing brand?

Price of diesel 'hits new record high'

I popped into the store a couple of weeks back and was shocked by some of the prices.  One jacket was £800.  Jeez.

Wednesday 15 February 2012

Nuclear war?

Just watching BBC news about Iranian nuclear capability.

Ignoring all of the political baggage that comes with that. The first thing the BBC reporter mentioned was the fact that the Iranian president's degree was in town planning.

Who gives a fuck? I'm pretty sure that David Cameron's degree wasn't in nuclear physics.

What was the point of the comment other than criticising his education? The BBC's role is different than that. 

I've been redeemed!

£50 is now on it's way to my bank account.

Yeah!  Finally.

The earliest record on their system of me filling in a survey was 6th December 2006, which is a little over 5 years. I don't think it's been worth while.

But, £50, is £50. And i've been told by the boss that it should go in the April's birthday Kitchenaid fund. 

I started going out with April on the 1st December 2006 within the week when I started the yougov surveys.  Maybe it's fate that she should get the money.

Tuesday 14 February 2012

2 trains aimed for today

2 trains cancelled. What a pile of shit!

Friday 10 February 2012

25pts left

Ha, ha, ha!  I can almost taste it. £50 of You Gov's money is almost mine.

What shall I buy with the money?  Or do you think they send the press round and hand be a big cheque?

Wednesday 8 February 2012

It's -5 out there!

I had beers with Shaz yesterday, many of which were in one of my favorite pubs, the Crobar. Here's a photo of one of the clientele.


Good night though. Looking forward to moving back to London... at some point.

Tuesday 7 February 2012

The world is just full of idiots

Check out this idiot commenting on climate change (Have your Say)

  • 73.
6th February 2012 - 20:43
Venus - atmosphere 96.5% CO2, ave. surface temp 867F

Mars - atmosphere 95.32% CO2, ave. surface temp -81F

What’s his point?  That CO2 doesn’t impact the temperature?

How about distance from the sun being a slightly bigger problem (67m miles v’s 142m miles)?  Or even better, how are we meant to breath with 95%+ co2

How do you eat that?

We get free fruit at work.  Bananas, grapes, apples, oranges etc. but recently the chef's been buying strange things.  This week it's lychees.  Or Eyeballs as they are known elsewhere.

How do you eat them?

They must read my blog

Only 75 points left!  You Gov better have my money ready.

Monday 6 February 2012

Blade Runner 2

Please, please, please!  Fingers crossed that Promethesus is decent first though.  According to this report it's supposed to be based in the same universe as Alien.

125 points left

Only 125 points left till I get my £50.  I think they know i'm nearly there as they've slowed down offering me new surveys.

£50 7 years ago isn't the same as £50 now however.

a) inflation
b) i'm earning more than double what I was back then so it has less significance.

It's the principle of the thing though.

Sunday 5 February 2012

Saturday's antics

I decided not to play rugby third Saturday, I've still got q rubbish cold and felt it was for the best. Running round in the cold certainly wouldn't have helped.

Instead we went into London for the day. April had had a busy week and it'd felt Luke ages since we'd spent much time together, on our own at least.

With no plans, we wondered round central London from shop to shop. Highlight was seeing a homeless guy with a cat instead of a dog for company and additional sympathy. It worked on us, we gave him £2.

At around 5 it began to get pretty cold so we popped into a pub for a quick pint. The Ship. I think it was one of the rock pubs I wanted to go to on my stag but didn't get round to it.

After that we found a Vietnamese restaurant that was surprisingly cheap considering we were in Soho. What to do next? April remembered a music venue nearby called the 12 Bar club so we decided to pay a visit.

It was supposed to be a punk night but it turned out to be metal. Excellent. At around 10 though we thought it'd be a good idea to head back as it'd been snowing pretty heavily since 6.

Our can eventually got us to Charing Cross and we made our way onto a delayed train. That's when the fun stopped and we ended up getting stuck on it. Finally getting home at gone 3, some 4 and a half hours later. With no heating for most of the journey we'd taken to stuffing today's broad sheets up our coats to keep warm. Brrr...

Good night though.

Friday 3 February 2012

Over half way through the next book

I've now read 53.7% of part 1 of 'book' 3 of the Song of Fire and Ice series.  So much s I bought the second part a couple of days ago to continue the epic story.  Interestingly enough, it was at number seven in Waterstone's Leadenhall Market store twelve years after it's first publication.  George R.R Martin will be pleased.  And quite rightly so.  A very good read.

Superbowl hosting tips

It's Supertime again!  A couple of years ago I hosted a small superbowl party round mine but didn't consider any of this.
  • Make sure you understand your state laws. Before sending out party invitations, familiarize yourself with your state’s social host liability laws.
  • Speak with your insurance agent or company representative about your homeowners coverage and any exclusions, conditions or limitations your policy might have for this kind of risk. Homeowners insurance usually provides some liquor liability coverage, but it is typically limited to $100,000 to $300,000, depending on the policy, which might not be enough.
  • Consider venues other than your home for the party. Hosting your party at a restaurant or bar with a liquor license, rather than at your home, will help minimize liquor liability risks. 
  • Hire a professional bartender. Most bartenders are trained to recognize signs of intoxication and are better able to limit consumption by partygoers. 
  • Encourage guests to pick a designated driver who will refrain from drinking alcoholic beverages so that he or she can drive other guests home. 
  • Be a responsible host. Limit your own alcohol intake so that you will be better able to judge your guests’ sobriety. 
  • Offer non-alcoholic beverages and always serve food. Eating and drinking plenty of water, or other non-alcoholic beverages, can help counter the effects of alcohol. 
  • Do not pressure guests to drink or rush to refill their glasses when empty. And never serve alcohol to guests who are visibly intoxicated. 
  • Stop serving liquor toward the end of the evening. Switch to coffee, tea and soft drinks. 
  • If guests drink too much or seem too tired to drive home, call a cab, arrange a ride with a sober guest or have them sleep at your home. 
  • Encourage all your guests to wear seatbelts as they drive home. Studies show that seatbelts save lives.  

The world is full of idiots!

We've just had an e-mail from our facilities manager saying that he's had a lot of dialogue with members of staff about the office being cold due to the recent cold snap.

One person has asked for the thermostat to be set to 23 in order to counter this.  They are going to comply.  Idiots!

If the policy is to have the temperature at 21 degrees then that is what the heating system will do.  It has nothing to do with it being cold outside!

When it's cold you need...

... two cats and a blanket.

Thursday 2 February 2012

He's done it again

I put my boxers on the wrong way this morning.  Again!  Luckily I didn't go to the gym at lunchtime.

Slave labour

My new 'big' boss has come up with an idea to have a monthly team lunch with the senior members of our team.  It's to talk about work, life and the universe (interesting).  Sounds like a good idea as we rarely socialise together but looking into it we're having these lunches in our dining room here at work.  The way I see it is that I now have to work for an additional 12 hours a year.

No fair.

Bloody hell it's cold

Now all we need is snow.   Preferably a shed load of it on Sunday night so my trains aren't running on Monday morning.  It's been a while since I made a snowman. 

I've also got a stinking cold, which i've had off and on for over a month. I think I might cancel Saturday's game as I really need the time off and running around in the freezing weather getting my ass kicked is probably not advised.

Wednesday 1 February 2012

URGH! What's happened to BBC's sport site?

I can't bloody find anything.  Idiots.  If it ain't broke, why 'fix' it?