Wednesday 27 April 2005

Can I get this for Robbie Williams tracks?

Homerisms(76) = "To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems!"

Tuesday 26 April 2005

Alcoholic? Me?

I'm out or at least drinking every night from Wednesday next week until Tuesday the next week!

And as i'm typing this i'm out tonight with the flat.

26th Waterloo
27th Football game
28th Wine tasting in the city
29th Office move so out drinking at 3pm
30th Rugby promotion play-off / team night out
1st Either out with Katie or drinks with you lot
2nd Out with Katie


Homerisms(75) = "Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddys, and kids with fake IDs."

Fate once again. Is there no end to Homer's wisdom?

When I talk about drink, he comes out with a wonderful drink anecdote.

Monday 25 April 2005

Just did my bit for mankind

Just given blood.

The girl next to me was a bleeder. Made a right mess of her top. it looked like she was stabbed.

I think I broke my pb for speed though. Less than 5 minutes. High blood presure does have it's advantages...

Homerisms(74) = "You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel."

Friday 22 April 2005

Best site in the world ever

Homerisms(73) = "You know, my kids think you're the greatest. And thanks to your gloomy music, they've finally stopped dreaming of a future I can't possibly provide."


Is anyone having dificulty sending pictures to moblog?

Homerisms(72) = "You know those balls that they put on car antennas so you can find them in the parking lot? Those should be on EVERY CAR!"


Dear all,

Does anyone fancy going to Oktoberfest this year? 17th September - 3rd October 2005

Probably thinking about going for a long weekend or something...

The Munich Oktoberfest - known by the locals as the "Wiesn" - is the biggest public festival in the world and will be held in 2005 for the 172nd time. Each year, the Oktoberfest is attended by around 6 million visitors, who drink more than 5 million liters of beer and consume over 200,000 pairs of pork sausages - mostly in the "beer tents" put up by the traditional Munich breweries.

At the foot of the Bavaria statue, the huge Oktoberfest grounds also provide carousels, roller coasters and all the spectacular fun of the fair for the enjoyment and excitement of visitors of all ages.

The festivities are accompanied by a program of events, including the Grand Entry of the Oktoberfest Landlords and Breweries, the Costume and Riflemen's Procession, and a concert involving all the brass bands represented at the "Wies'n".

Homerisms(71) = "Yes, honey ... Just squeeze your rage up into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time, like that day I hit the referee with the whiskey bottle."

Thursday 21 April 2005

Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored and fucking bored

I am so fucking bored. I've done 90% of my work and am just waiting on other people to finish theirs before I can finish things here. Arg! It's so frustrating. Anybody know any good jokes? Homerisms(70) = "When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!"

I'm starving

For some reason I woke up at about 5am this morning and couldn't get back to sleep.


Now i'm hungry. Plus my mate just got himself a big fat doorstop of a sandwich from the best sandwich shop in the world.

I may have to venture out. At least it's a nice day.

Homerisms(69) = "When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces. Just know they're about to jab me with something."

Wednesday 20 April 2005

My plans for the weekend

Homerisms(68) = "What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts."

Tuesday 19 April 2005

Red Lion, Wellam

I went out for a meal on Saturday night to the Red Lion. We ended up having to wait for around 2 hours before getting seated.

We were hardly in a hurry so just waited by the bar so it was too be expected. It was quite embarrassing watching some of the other groups hovering around tables like vultures waiting for a table to vacate. Very rude if you ask me.

Finally we got seated and I looked at the menu. The 48oz was off the menu at the weekend so I had to think. 32oz of what? I could have done a steak but didn't really fancy it, in the end I went for the Mighty Man's mixed grill. 32oz of meet and bone.

When it arrived I tucked in. A quarter way through my Mum proclaimed that I could never finish it all.

It was like a rag to a bull...

...but not before upping the anti.

Once the £10 were laid on the table I ate fork full after fork full. Gradually slowing until I finished the lot. Then I was reminded about the bowl of chips.

Uuuggghhh!!! I felt shit, but a bet's a bet.

And as stubborn person is stubborn I forced the lot down my tiny mouth.

Much bragging passed across the table and me 1kg heavier I had won.

The moral of the story is never bet Stuart anything. He rarely loses...

...even if it kills him

I would also like to point out that it was easilly the most disgusting meal I had ever eaten. It was awful. I doubt i'll ever go there again. I need to find somewhere else where I can find the illusive 48oz steak.

Homerisms(68) = "What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts."

Beer festival

Is the beer festival on again this year?

Is it around Ian's birthday again?

Can we all make it?

I suggested it to my brother and he seemed keen.

I'll see what Ross thinks again.

Ben: Better get some practice in...

I'll have to design a template for the official scorecard.

Perhaps a penalty for being sick.

When Ian gets hilariously shitfaced again a vote must be made for who keeps track of the rest of the scores.


Homerisms(67) = "This perpetual motion machine she made is a joke: It just keeps going faster and faster. Lisa, get in here! In this house, we obey the laws of THERMODYNAMICS!"

Monday 18 April 2005

Have you all missed me?

Back at work and have only just deleted all of my dodgy e-mails?

Just in case they're listening...

I don't need

-Cheap prescription drugs
-Cheap software
-Horny house wives

Homerisms(66) = "This donut has purple in the middle, purple is a fruit."

Friday 8 April 2005

Holiday for a week

I'm off from work next week so you'll have to get by without my ramblings for 9 days.

What will you all do? Some work perhaps?

I'm off to Bristol for a couple of days but then back in London. Katie's coming down to see me at some point so I have to think of something intersting to do. Any ideas?

I don't think she'd appreciate just going to the pub and getting shitfaced every night, which is what I would do if any of you guys were down.

Homerisms(65) = "Son, being popular is the most important thing in the whole world."

Thursday 7 April 2005


It's more than a month away. Have they not got jobs to go to?

Ben: Can I start queuing outside your house so that I can watch you getting over excited when Yoda comes on screen? How much are the tickets?

Homerisms(64) = "Operator! Give me the number for 911!"

The party to end all parties

Current plan (subject to change)

I'm booze shopping tomorrow night


Put in your order now if you have any preference. otherwise it'll be sherry, Stella, cherryade and Hula Hoops.

I've been asked to ask you guys to bring bottles of spirits if possible. But I say just bring what you want.

I'm not playing rugby this weekend so i'll be around in London whenever you get here. I'll have to fart around the house and help the gitls set things up at some point but I think everything should be starting at around 8ish.

Fingers crossed the weather will hold.

Homerisms(63) = "Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that."

This is pretty much my job...""

Tuesday 5 April 2005

Liverpool v's Juventus

I hope everybody's got their fingers crossed.

Liverpool's biggest game in years.

My prediction: 1-1

Not a bad result but very tough to go over to Turin in two weeks time and overturn the away goal.

Homerisms(62) = "Oh, Lisa, you and your stories ... Bart's a vampire, beer kills brain cells. Now let's go back to that ... building ... thingie ... where our beds and TV ... is."

Blithe Spirit

I went to see a play last night. Kate managed to get 4 free tickets (should have been £45).

Blithe Spirit at the Savoy Theatre, the Strand. It was a black comedy set in the 40's.

I had to put aside all my preconceptions but by doing so, had a really good time.

That doesn't mean to say that i'll ever go to a musical

And don't worry ladies, I'm not going to turn into a luvie.

Homerisms(61) = "Oh , everything 's too damned expensive these days. This Bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this guy."

Monday 4 April 2005

Something to cheer you up

Homerisms(60) = "Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman -- and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing."

Give it a rest... More people cared about Diana dieing than the pope.

What proportion of the UK are actually Catholics anyway? I bet there are more Jedi.

Why does the media have to force this tripe on us again and again? By saturation of media they are forcing people to have false emotions for someone. It’s wrong. People should be able to make there own minds up about events in this world without getting force-fed how they ought to feel.

Yes, he's undoubtedly done a lot of good for the world but the media interaction is immoral and brings about mass hysteria. And they paint the picture that all he has done is good. That is simply not true.

I hereby reserve my place in hell.

Is it fate that this Homerism came up???

Homerisms(59) = "Lord help me, I'm just not that bright."

Friday 1 April 2005

Let's see

Can anyone remember the name of our old history teacher at the CTC?

Homerisms(58) = "Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?"

April fool funnies

Homerisms(57) = "Kids, kids. As far as Daddy's concerned, you're both potential murderers"


Another 7 pints...

I really must stop mid-week drinking. I canny take it anymore captain. I've done most of what's asked of me this week so hopefully I can keep my head down and have a nice easy day.

I think I might head downstairs to starbucks and blow some money on a frapacino. £3.10 of cold goodness.

Homerisms(56) = "It 's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in 8 hours of TV a day."