Monday 31 January 2005

Is anyone buying...

Metallica: Some Kind Of Monster, the DVD!!

Or saw it in the cinema?

Homerisms(19) = "America's health care system is second only to Japan...Canada, Sweden, Great Britain... well all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!"

Mornin my babs

Good morning everyone!

Things are all quiet on the London front. Thankfully...

I'm shattered. And that's after an early night 9:15.

Ben: How was 24? Or the Jack Bower Power hour as you like to call it? Did his stupid daughter get herself into trouble again?

Homerisms(18) = "If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English"

Thursday 27 January 2005

Eat my goal!

Get in! In fact get fucking in!!!!

I was due to be having my annual appraisal at this time today however I've had to postpone until tomorrow morning because of a new project i've been working on. As luck would have it we've just had a fire alarm which would have been right smack in the middle of it.

On top of that and certainly more importantly I've just been talking to my big boss outside in the plaza and he said that I will be doing appraisals next year myself!!!

Definite promotion, with staff!!!

Anybody want a job?


My appraisal is tomorrow, but won't find out about bonus and pay until the 14th of March.

Anyone free to get absolutely shitfaced the weekend after?

Homerisms(17) = "Trying is the first step towards failure"

Tuesday 25 January 2005


Fruit flavoured Belgian beer.

Urg! Do I feel rough.

Tasted good at the time though.

How can I describe it?

A premium priced snakebite and black.


Homerisms(15) = "No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed"

Friday 21 January 2005


Will the PC version be better than the X-box's?

Homerisms(12) = "Your movie was more boring than church"

Where can I get a copy?

Homerisms(11) = "Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand"

Congrats to Kristof and Kirsty

Best wishes and all the best for the new born.

The first round of drinks are on me.

Homerisms(10) =

"Homer: Aww 20 dollars, but I wanted a peanut"

"Homer's Brain: 20 dollars can buy many peanuts"

"Homer: *gasp* Explain how!"

"Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services"

"Homer: Woo-hoo I found 20 dollars"

Thursday 20 January 2005

Would your parents let you do this in their back yard?

Homerisms(9) = "I'm in no condition to drive, wait, I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk."

Wednesday 19 January 2005

Good luck Kristoff

A very nervous Mr Matthews is about to become a daddy for the first time.

Best of wishes and good luck

Keep us posted with the good news.

Homerisms(8) = "I want it all: the dizzying highs, the terrifying lows, the creamy middles. Sure, I may offend some of the blue-birds with my cocky stride and musky odors. The so-called 'City Fathers,' who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about 'What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?"

Tuesday 18 January 2005

Websense is no more...

For some reason websense isn't functioning at the moment. Wwhhooppiiee!!!!

Must find all my old websites.

Homerisms(7) = "If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girl's sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxy and such and such…"

Monday 17 January 2005

Top of the morning to ya...

I should be having an all expenses paid jolly over in Ireland next month.

There's an R (statistical analysis langauge) conference in Dublin that a couple of us from work 'need' to go to.

Get in!

Homerisms(6) = "Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or loose, it's how drunk you get"

Friday 14 January 2005

"a star in heaven driving Jesus to Asda in his taxi".

Am I a bad person for laughing at this quote?

Homerisms(5) = "If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now, quiet! The're about to announce the lottery numbers…"

Project Sunshine


Homerisms(4) = "Bart! With $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things"

Coming to America

Should have won an oscar.

It even stars Darf Vader, DR Benton from ER (Soul Glow), Samuel L Jackson and Cuba Gooding Jr.

Homerisms(3) = "I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman"

Thursday 13 January 2005

What the PC was originally designed for...

I'm thinking about getting a laptop.

Homerisms(2) = "Could Jesus microwave a burrito so hot, that he himself could not eat it?"

Wednesday 12 January 2005

Poor old mini me

More midget shenanigans

Homerisms(1) = "If celebrities didn't want people pawing through their garbage and saying they're gay, they shouldn't have tried to express themselves creatively"

New initiative

We need a new breeding programme for umpalumpas

Thursday 6 January 2005

Pain in the neck

I've been off sick from work for two days this week.

Nothing to worry about but I had to go to A&E on Monday (the girls in my flat made me), as I slept awkwardly on my neck on the Saturday night and was in a lot of pain. Much better now but that's probably due to the 3 types of drugs I've been taking. I'm just back at work today.