My people call me the dude. I share my teachings in the passages below... (along with many typos, grammatical errors and lazy writing)
Friday, 29 October 2004
Had a few drinks after work last night...
... and think I was being sounded out for a new job working for my old team.
Watch this space.
Watch this space.
Interesting factoids...
If you yelled for 8 years,7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (Oh my God...!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life I want to be a pig)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
(Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Do not try this at home .. maybe at work)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. ("Honey, I'm home. What the....")
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes...can you imagine??)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What can be so tasty on the bottom of the pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life ... quality over
quantity.)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm........)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animal that cannot jump.
(OK, so that would be a good thing....)
A cat's urine glows under a blacklight.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out.)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(Who knew...? Who cares! )
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about the pig?)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (Oh my God...!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life I want to be a pig)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
(Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Do not try this at home .. maybe at work)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. ("Honey, I'm home. What the....")
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes...can you imagine??)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What can be so tasty on the bottom of the pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life ... quality over
quantity.)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm........)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animal that cannot jump.
(OK, so that would be a good thing....)
A cat's urine glows under a blacklight.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out.)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(Who knew...? Who cares! )
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about the pig?)
Ross's New Job
Ross has started his new job working for a power station firm. Some of which are nuclear! God help us all.
Thursday, 28 October 2004
Business Continuity Site Testing
This afternoon i've got to go along to our Business Continuity testing site to see if all our programs and files work correctly.
That should take me around 5 minutes. More importantly i'll be testing if I can still write up my LiveJournal.
Business Continuity Site, if our building gets blown up, then we have another place to work, tight gits, how about a couple of months off!
That should take me around 5 minutes. More importantly i'll be testing if I can still write up my LiveJournal.
Business Continuity Site, if our building gets blown up, then we have another place to work, tight gits, how about a couple of months off!
Results of the quiz
My team The Hand Shandys finished 8th out of about 40 teams.
We did best in the TV Themes round, with me remembering the theme to Gentle Ben.
The highlight of the evening for me was with this question.
Question
Which British TV presenter replaced the voice of Joan Rivers in the UK version of Shrek II?
Our answer
"Jonathan Ross"
Real answer
Kate Thornton
One of our team mates was adamant that he was right. Hilarious.
We did best in the TV Themes round, with me remembering the theme to Gentle Ben.
The highlight of the evening for me was with this question.
Question
Which British TV presenter replaced the voice of Joan Rivers in the UK version of Shrek II?
Our answer
"Jonathan Ross"
Real answer
Kate Thornton
One of our team mates was adamant that he was right. Hilarious.
Wednesday, 27 October 2004
Maths Refresher 101
I've finally got this DFA (Dynamic Financial Analysis) program on my computer and now i've got to bloody work out how to use it.
Most of it is intuitive however it requires a high level of maths knowledge in order to use it correctly.
Bugger!
Distributions
Normal
LogNormal
Poisson
Gamma
Burr
Burr Inverse
Exponential
LogLogistic
Pareto
Welbull
I'm going to have so much fun in the next few weeks!
Most of it is intuitive however it requires a high level of maths knowledge in order to use it correctly.
Bugger!
Distributions
Normal
LogNormal
Poisson
Gamma
Burr
Burr Inverse
Exponential
LogLogistic
Pareto
Welbull
I'm going to have so much fun in the next few weeks!
Vietcong
I've been rekindling my love affair with shooting gooks.
I bought the expansion pack Fist Alpha months back but got stuck on a really tricky bit so went off in a huff.
Not wanting to play anymore Champ Man till the new one comes out next week I thought i'd give the old game a bit of a revival.
650 kills later i'm back with as much enthusiasm as i've ever had. In my current mission i've had to sneak around (not my favorite part of the game) an enemy base taking out their heavy gunners. I've done that, I then had to place explosives on their fuel line, now I have to return up the mountain side and pull out my trusty sniper.
I'm looking forward to the next part.
Fish in a barrel.
I bought the expansion pack Fist Alpha months back but got stuck on a really tricky bit so went off in a huff.
Not wanting to play anymore Champ Man till the new one comes out next week I thought i'd give the old game a bit of a revival.
650 kills later i'm back with as much enthusiasm as i've ever had. In my current mission i've had to sneak around (not my favorite part of the game) an enemy base taking out their heavy gunners. I've done that, I then had to place explosives on their fuel line, now I have to return up the mountain side and pull out my trusty sniper.
I'm looking forward to the next part.
Fish in a barrel.
Lloyd's Quiz tonight
Where's Webby when you need him? He can answer all the cheesy eighties pop questions...
There should be about 300-400 people out tonight for the quiz. Should be a good laugh. Lots of food and beer.
There should be about 300-400 people out tonight for the quiz. Should be a good laugh. Lots of food and beer.
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